Bart ponders entering contests for a living while Phil suggests he slit his writs with a 6-blade razor. Old people writing letters, that creepy torso, and why aren't you posting on the forum?

Listen as we find hidden glamour in online gambling and abuse of over-the-counter cough medicine. The result? Ingenious inventions.

Secrets revealed: ill-informed people still wax-idiotic about Bigfoot. We got the inside tip on mythological creatures: Genies, Leprechauns and a world without internet porn.

If you joke about what you secretly feel, that makes the both of us cutters. Bart corrects Phil for referring to the Magic Box as "a computer."